How to Prepare for a PA Custody Conference Without a Lawyer

The custody conciliation conference is the single most consequential event in most Pennsylvania custody cases, and you can prepare for it effectively without a lawyer if you understand what the conference officer is actually evaluating. Here's the short version: the conference officer will assess your proposals against Act 11's twelve best-interest factors, review any proposed parenting schedule for developmental appropriateness, and determine whether your case can settle or needs to move to trial. If you walk in with a written parenting plan proposal, organized positions on each best-interest factor, and specific evidence supporting your schedule, you'll be prepared at the level most attorneys prepare their clients.

The conference officer is not your adversary. They're a court-appointed evaluator whose recommendation carries significant weight — if both parties accept it, it becomes a consent order. If they don't, the recommendation often becomes the interim order that shapes the case going forward. What you present at this meeting sets the trajectory.

What a Conciliation Conference Actually Is

A custody conciliation conference in Pennsylvania is a structured meeting — not a trial. There's no testimony under oath, no cross-examination, and no formal rules of evidence. The conference officer (sometimes called a conciliator or hearing officer, depending on the county) meets with both parents, reviews their positions, and tries to reach a consensual resolution.

Here's what catches most unrepresented parents off guard: the conference officer has authority to issue a recommended order if the parties can't agree. That recommendation goes to the judge, and judges frequently adopt it with minimal modification. The recommendation becomes the default arrangement — and changing a default arrangement later requires demonstrating that a different arrangement better serves the child's interests.

In practical terms: the conference is where your case is decided unless it's contested enough to go to trial. Treat it accordingly.

The Preparation Framework (Six Steps)

Step 1: Know Your County's Pre-Conference Requirements

Before you prepare for the conference itself, verify that you've completed every county-mandated prerequisite. Showing up without a completed co-parenting seminar certificate — when your county requires one before the conference — can result in a continuance that delays your case by weeks.

County-specific examples:

• Allegheny County: Complete the Generations Program "Able to Adjust" online seminar ($40) before attending mediation and the conference
• Montgomery County: Complete the four-hour "Our Children First" seminar and attend mediation orientation
• Chester County: Register for and complete the parenting education class within thirty days of your filing date
• Philadelphia County: Complete the required co-parenting program through the Family Court Division

Call your county prothonotary's office or check your county court's family division website to confirm the specific requirements for your jurisdiction.

Step 2: Draft a Written Parenting Plan Proposal

Arrive with a written proposal. Most conference officers will ask whether you have one, and presenting a thoughtful, structured plan immediately signals that you've taken the process seriously.

Your plan should address every category listed under 23 Pa.C.S. § 5331:

• Legal custody allocation: Are you proposing shared legal custody (Pennsylvania's default) or sole legal custody? If shared, how will major decisions (medical, educational, religious) be made when you disagree?
• Physical custody schedule: Specify the regular weekly rotation (2-2-3, 2-2-5-5, week-on/week-off, or another arrangement), with pickup and drop-off times and locations
• Holiday and school break rotation: Map out every holiday, including which parent gets which holiday in odd vs. even years, and how school breaks (winter, spring, summer) are divided
• Transportation: Who drives for pickups and drop-offs? Where do exchanges happen? What's the backup plan if someone can't make the exchange?
• Right of first refusal: If you can't care for the child during your custody time (work trip, emergency), does the other parent get first right to take the child before a third-party caretaker?
• Communication between households: How will the child contact the other parent during custody time? Phone calls, video calls, texts — with reasonable frequency and timing
• Dispute resolution: If you disagree on a major decision, do you try mediation before going back to court?

Step 3: Calculate Your Overnight Count

Under Pennsylvania's 2026 child support guidelines, your physical custody schedule directly affects your support obligation. The old thirty-percent custody presumption was eliminated. Support now tracks your exact percentage of annual overnights.

The critical threshold: 146 overnights per year (40% of 365). If the paying parent reaches 146 overnights, the graduated shared-custody adjustment under Pa.R.C.P. 1910.16-4(c) triggers, reducing the basic support obligation. Below 146 overnights, standard calculations apply.

Calculate the overnights in your proposed schedule:

• Every-other-weekend (EOW): ~52 overnights/year (Friday and Saturday nights, 26 weekends)
• EOW + one weeknight: ~78 overnights/year
• 2-2-3 alternating: ~182 overnights/year (equal split)
• 2-2-5-5: ~182 overnights/year (equal split)
• Week-on/week-off: ~182 overnights/year

The conference officer may ask about your overnight count, especially if support is being addressed concurrently. Knowing your number — and knowing how it maps to the support adjustment — shows preparation and prevents surprises.

Step 4: Organize Your Position on Each Best-Interest Factor

Act 11 of 2025 streamlined Pennsylvania's best-interest standard from sixteen to twelve factors under 23 Pa.C.S. § 5328(a). The conference officer evaluates your proposals against these factors. Prepare a one-to-two-sentence position on each:

1. Child safety: Which party is more likely to ensure the safety of the child
2. Present and past abuse committed by a party or household member — including any PFA history
3. Child-abuse and protective-services involvement: Any indicated or founded report involving the child or a household member
4. Violent or assaultive behavior committed by a party, including criminally reckless behavior
5. Co-parenting and cooperation: The level of conflict, willingness to encourage continuing contact, and any attempts to turn the child against the other parent
6. Parenting capacity and responsibilities: Past and future parental duties, stability, and the child's physical, emotional, developmental, and educational needs
7. Sibling and family relationships
8. The well-reasoned preference of the child (based on maturity, not age alone)
9. The proximity of the parents' residences
10. Each party's employment schedule and availability to care for the child or make appropriate childcare arrangements
11. The history of drug or alcohol abuse of a party or household member
12. The mental and physical health of a party or household member

The four safety categories — child safety, present and past abuse, child-abuse and protective-services involvement, and violent or assaultive behavior — receive "substantial weighted consideration" under Kayden's Law. If your case involves any history of abuse, protective-services involvement, or violent behavior, prepare specific documentation for those categories.

For each factor, write down: (a) your position, (b) one specific example or piece of evidence supporting it, and (c) whether this factor favors you, is neutral, or favors the other parent. Being honest about factors that don't favor you builds credibility with the conference officer.

Step 5: Gather Your Supporting Evidence

The conference is informal, but evidence still matters. Bring organized copies of:

• Your proposed parenting plan (two copies — one for you, one for the conference officer)
• Your overnight count calculation showing how your proposed schedule maps to annual overnights
• School records showing which parent handles enrollment, conferences, and pickup
• Medical records showing which parent schedules and attends appointments
• Communication logs documenting co-parenting exchanges (texts, emails — organized chronologically, not cherry-picked)
• Work schedules demonstrating your availability during the child's school hours, after school, and on weekends
• Parenting seminar certificate confirming you completed your county's mandatory program

Do not bring: character witnesses (this isn't a trial), social media screenshots taken out of context, or recordings made without the required consent.

Step 6: Prepare for the Conference Officer's Questions

Conference officers typically ask a predictable set of questions. Practice concise, factual answers:

• "What custody arrangement are you proposing, and why?"
• "How will you handle decision-making disagreements with the other parent?"
• "What's your child's current school and activity schedule?"
• "How do you currently divide parenting responsibilities?"
• "Are there any safety concerns I should be aware of?"
• "Have you attempted mediation?"
• "What schedule works with both parents' employment?"

The goal is clarity, not persuasion. Conference officers evaluate credibility and reasonableness. A parent who presents a well-organized, child-focused proposal — even without an attorney — makes a stronger impression than a parent who uses the conference to litigate grievances against their co-parent.

Who This Is For

• Parents attending their first custody conciliation conference without legal representation
• Parents who want to prepare at the level an attorney would prepare them, without the cost
• Parents who have already filed for custody and want to maximize the conference outcome
• Any parent preparing for a conference who wants to understand what the conference officer is actually evaluating

Who This Is NOT For

• Parents whose case involves allegations of domestic violence, child abuse, or substance abuse — the Kayden's Law factors and PFA intersections in these cases benefit from legal representation
• Parents whose co-parent is represented by an attorney who has already filed aggressive motions — the procedural imbalance at the conference may put you at a disadvantage without your own counsel
• Parents seeking emergency custody — emergency motions under Pa.R.C.P. 1915.13 bypass the conference process entirely and have their own procedural requirements

The Tools That Make This Easier

The Pennsylvania Child Custody & Parenting Plan Guide includes a custody conference prep worksheet, a best-interest factor worksheet, and a parenting plan provisions checklist — the same preparation framework attorneys use when coaching clients for conferences. It also includes an overnight tracker for calculating your custody-time percentage and a holiday rotation planner for mapping out the schedule you'll propose.

Twelve PDFs total, covering every stage from your initial filing through the final order. Less than a ten-minute attorney phone call, and you'll reference it at every stage of your case.

Frequently Asked Questions

What happens if I'm not prepared for the conference?

The conference officer will proceed regardless. If you don't have a proposed parenting plan, the conference officer will work from whatever the other parent proposes — or will draft a recommendation based on limited information. That recommendation often becomes the interim order, and it's difficult to change later without demonstrating that a different arrangement better serves the child's interests.

Can the conference officer make a final custody order?

Not directly. The conference officer issues a recommendation, which goes to the assigned judge. If both parties accept it, it becomes a consent order — which is final. If either party objects, they can request a trial (called a "de novo hearing"), where a judge makes the final determination. The catch: the conference officer's recommendation often becomes the temporary order pending trial, establishing the status quo.

Should I bring a lawyer to the conference even if I've been pro se so far?

If your case is contested and the other parent has an attorney, seriously consider limited-scope representation for the conference specifically. Many Pennsylvania family law attorneys offer conference-only representation for $750–$1,500. If your case is uncontested and you're there to formalize an agreement, your preparation with a process guide and the worksheets above may be sufficient.

What if the other parent doesn't show up to the conference?

If the other parent was properly served and fails to appear, the conference officer may issue a recommended order based solely on your proposals. Proper service is critical — if there's any question about whether the other parent received notice, the conference will be continued.

How long does a custody conciliation conference take?

Most conferences last sixty to ninety minutes. Complex cases with significant disputes can take longer, but the conference officer will typically schedule a continuation rather than rushing through unresolved issues. Come prepared to present your position concisely — the conference officer handles multiple cases per day.

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