Can a Child Choose Which Parent to Live With in Vermont?

The short answer: no, a child in Vermont never gets to unilaterally "choose" which parent to live with. There is no age — not 12, not 14, not 16 — at which a child's preference becomes legally controlling. But a child's wishes do carry weight in the court's analysis, and Vermont has a specific mechanism for how those wishes reach the judge.

How the Court Considers a Child's Wishes

Vermont's best-interests standard under 15 V.S.A. § 665(b) doesn't list child preference as a standalone factor. Instead, a child's expressed wishes are considered as part of the overall nine-factor analysis — particularly Factor 1 (love, affection, and guidance), Factor 3 (developmental needs), and Factor 4 (continuity and adjustment).

The older and more mature the child, the more weight their stated preference typically carries. A teenager with articulate reasons tied to school, activities, and genuine relationships will be taken more seriously than a younger child parroting one parent's talking points.

But even a clear, consistent preference from a mature teenager doesn't bind the court. If the judge determines that the child's preferred arrangement conflicts with their best interests — because of a parent's instability, because the preference is influenced by permissiveness rather than genuine welfare — the judge will override it.

The Guardian ad Litem (GAL)

A Guardian ad Litem is a trained volunteer advocate the court appoints to represent the child's best interests. In Vermont:

• GAL appointments in private custody cases (as opposed to abuse/neglect cases) are discretionary — the judge appoints one when the case is highly contested, there are credible abuse allegations, or the child may need to testify
• The GAL interviews both parents, meets with the child monthly, consults with teachers and doctors, and reviews relevant records
• The GAL submits a formal recommendation to the court

Here's where it gets important: under Vermont Family Proceedings Rule 6.1(e), when the child can effectively communicate their wishes, the GAL's advocacy must align with those wishes. The GAL cannot present facts or opinions to the court that contradict the child's stated positions.

This doesn't mean the child's wishes automatically win — the judge still makes the final decision based on all nine factors. But the GAL mechanism ensures the child's voice reaches the courtroom through a trained advocate rather than being filtered entirely through the parents.

Custody Evaluations

In highly contested cases, the court may order a forensic custody evaluation under 15 V.S.A. § 667(b). A qualified mental health professional — typically a child psychologist — conducts:

• Psychological testing of both parents
• Parent interviews
• Home observations
• Interviews with the child (including assessment of the child's preferences and the reasoning behind them)

The evaluator's written report is fully admissible as evidence, provided the expert is available for cross-examination. Evaluators are trained to distinguish between a genuine, well-reasoned preference and one that results from parental coaching or alienation.

What Parents Should Know

If your child has expressed a strong preference, document it through appropriate channels — not by having the child write letters to the judge or testify directly if it can be avoided. Vermont courts protect children from being put in the middle of parental conflict.

The appropriate channels are:

• Request a GAL appointment if the case is contested
• Request a custody evaluation if the child's preference is a central issue
• Support your child's expressed wishes through your own evidence about the factors that matter to them — school quality, friendships, activities, stability

The Vermont Child Custody & Parenting Plan Guide covers the GAL process and custody evaluations in detail, including how to prepare for interactions with both and how your child's developmental stage affects how their voice is heard in court.

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