Divorce Mediation Preparation Checklist

Mediation works best when both parties show up prepared. The couples who reach agreements in one or two sessions aren't luckier — they've done the financial homework that lets the mediator focus on resolving disputes instead of organizing paperwork. Here's what that preparation looks like.

Documents to Bring

The mediator will ask about your complete financial picture. Arriving without these documents wastes a session (at $200-400/hour for the mediator) while you go home to find them.

Income documentation:

• Last 3 months of pay stubs for both spouses
• Last 2-3 years of tax returns (federal and state)
• Business financials if either spouse is self-employed (profit/loss statements, K-1s)
• Documentation of any other income (rental, investment, freelance)

Asset documentation:

• Bank statements (checking, savings, money market) — last 3 months
• Investment account statements — last 3 months
• Retirement account statements (401k, IRA, pension) — most recent
• Real estate appraisal or comparable market analysis
• Vehicle valuations (Kelley Blue Book printouts)
• Life insurance policy declarations (cash value and death benefit)

Debt documentation:

• Mortgage statement (current balance, payment, rate)
• Credit card statements — last 3 months
• Student loan balances
• Any other debts (personal loans, HELOCs, medical bills)
• Credit reports for both spouses

Other:

• Prenuptial or postnuptial agreements
• Previous court orders (temporary support, restraining orders)
• Children's expenses breakdown (childcare, activities, medical, education)

Preparation Steps Before the Session

Build your balance sheet. List every asset and every debt with current values, ownership (joint or individual), and whether it's marital or separate property. The mediator shouldn't have to do this math during the session — it should be ready for discussion.

Know your bottom line — and your flexibility. Decide in advance which assets matter most to you and where you're willing to trade. The spouse who insists on keeping the house, the retirement accounts, and the vacation property isn't negotiating — they're blocking.

Effective mediation involves tradeoffs. If keeping the house is your priority, be prepared to give ground on retirement accounts or accept a smaller equalization payment.

Calculate your post-divorce budget. One of the most common reasons mediation stalls is that one or both spouses haven't run the numbers on what life actually costs on a single income. Know your monthly expenses — housing, utilities, childcare, insurance, transportation — before the session. This is essential for any spousal support discussion.

Write down your proposals. Don't walk in with vague ideas. Have at least one concrete proposal for how assets and debts should be divided. The mediator can work from a proposal; they can't work from "I want what's fair."

List your questions. Write down anything you're uncertain about — pension division, tax implications, timeline for property transfers, how joint debts get handled. Having a list prevents the post-session regret of "I forgot to ask about..."

During the Session

Treat it like a business meeting. Mediation isn't therapy. Venting about your spouse's behavior during the marriage wastes time and increases the mediator's bill. The mediator is there to help you divide property and make a plan, not to assign blame.

Listen to understand, not to respond. Your spouse's priorities tell you where the deal is. If they're fixated on keeping the business, that creates room for you to take the house or retirement accounts.

Don't agree under pressure. If the mediator or your spouse pushes for a decision you haven't fully evaluated, ask for time. "I need to review the tax implications before I agree" is always a valid response. A good mediator will respect this.

Take notes. Write down every term discussed, even tentative ones. The mediator will draft the agreement, but your notes protect you if anything gets lost in translation.

After the Session

The mediator prepares a memorandum of understanding (MOU) summarizing the agreement. Review it carefully against your notes. If it accurately reflects what was discussed, your attorney converts it into a binding settlement agreement for the court.

If terms are missing or inaccurate, raise them immediately — before the MOU becomes a filed agreement.

The Marital Asset & Debt Division Worksheet is designed specifically for mediation preparation — it organizes your assets, debts, separate property claims, and division proposals into a format that both mediators and attorneys can work from directly.