Can a Child Choose Which Parent to Live With in Victoria?
There Is No Magic Age
No provision in the Family Law Act 1975 sets a specific age at which a child can decide where they live. Not 12, not 14, not 16. A child does not "age into" a custody decision at any point before they turn 18 and parenting orders cease to apply.
What the law does say is that a child's views are one of the six factors the court considers when determining the child's best interests under Section 60CC. The weight given to those views depends on the child's age, maturity, and level of understanding.
A clearly articulated preference from a 15-year-old who understands the implications of their choice carries significant weight. A 7-year-old who says "I want to live with Mummy because she lets me have ice cream" carries less. But neither is ignored.
How the Court Hears a Child's Views
Children do not typically attend court hearings. The FCFCOA uses several mechanisms to bring a child's perspective into proceedings without putting them on the witness stand:
Family consultants. The court may order a family consultant (a psychologist or social worker employed by the court) to interview the child and prepare a family report. The consultant meets with each parent and the child separately, observes interactions, and produces a written assessment that includes the child's expressed wishes and the consultant's professional opinion about what arrangement serves the child's interests.
Independent Children's Lawyers (ICLs). For cases involving significant conflict or complexity, the court can appoint an ICL — a lawyer whose client is the child, not either parent. The ICL is required to meet with the child (generally those aged 5 and over), gather the child's views, and present those views to the court. Importantly, the ICL acts in the child's best interests, which may differ from what the child says they want.
Judicial interviews. In rare cases, a judge may speak directly with the child. This is uncommon and typically reserved for older children in specific circumstances.
Why a Child's Preference Is Not Decisive
Even when a teenager clearly states a strong preference, the court treats that preference as one factor among six — not as a determinative answer. Several considerations can override a child's expressed wishes:
Safety concerns. If a child wants to live with a parent who has a history of family violence or substance abuse, the court will prioritise safety over the child's preference.
Parental influence. Courts are alert to situations where a child's stated preference has been shaped by one parent's coaching, manipulation, or alienation. A child who parrots one parent's complaints about the other — using language that does not sound like a child — may have their expressed views discounted.
Maturity assessment. A child may be articulate enough to state a preference but not mature enough to understand its implications. Choosing to live with the parent who has fewer rules or more permissive screen time may reflect short-term preference, not an informed assessment of their own long-term needs.
Practical factors. A child who wants to stay in their current school zone may need to live with whichever parent remains in that area, regardless of which parent they prefer personally.
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What Parents Should and Should Not Do
Do not ask your child to choose. Putting a child in the position of choosing between their parents creates enormous emotional pressure. If your child volunteers a preference, listen without judgment and without reinforcing it.
Do not coach your child. Courts take a dim view of parents who encourage children to express specific preferences. If a family consultant suspects coaching, it can damage the coaching parent's credibility and case.
Do document your child's expressed views. If your child has spontaneously said something about where they want to live or what schedule they prefer, note the date, context, and their exact words. Do not record conversations with your child without understanding the legal implications.
Do focus on making your household a place your child wants to be. Consistent routines, emotional warmth, involvement in school and activities, and a conflict-free environment speak louder than a child's testimony.
The Practical Reality
Most parenting matters in Victoria are resolved through mediation and consent orders, not contested court hearings. In those negotiations, both parents can and should consider what their child has expressed — provided they do so honestly and without putting the child in the middle.
For families heading to court, the family consultant's report can be important evidence, but the court makes its own decision. Preparing for that process — understanding what the consultant will assess, how your household will be observed, and what the consultant looks for — can shape outcomes.
The Victoria Child Custody & Parenting Plan Guide includes a section on how courts assess children's views and practical guidance for parents preparing for family consultant interviews.
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