Can a Child Choose Which Parent to Live With in Australia?

The short answer: no child "chooses" which parent to live with in Australia. There's no age at which a child gets to make that decision. But a child's views are a mandatory consideration in every parenting case — and the older and more mature the child, the more weight those views carry.

What the Law Actually Says

Under Section 60CC of the Family Law Act 1975 (as amended by the May 2024 reforms), the child's views are one of six core factors in the best interests assessment. The court must consider "any views expressed by the child."

The critical change from the 2024 reforms: the old law required courts to evaluate a child's views "having regard to the child's maturity or level of understanding." The new framework drops the rigid maturity formula. Courts assess the child's views flexibly, considering the context in which they were expressed and whether they appear to reflect the child's genuine wishes rather than coaching or parental influence.

There Is No Magic Age

This is the question every separating parent asks: "At what age does my child get to decide?" The answer under Australian law is that there is no statutory age threshold.

In practice, courts treat children's views with increasing seriousness as they age:

Under 5: Views are rarely sought directly. The court relies on expert assessments, parental evidence, and developmental considerations rather than asking young children where they want to live.

Ages 5-9: If a child expresses a view (often through a family report writer or Independent Children's Lawyer), the court considers it but weighs it carefully against the possibility of parental influence, anxiety about upsetting a parent, or limited understanding of the implications.

Ages 10-12: Views carry meaningful weight. Children at this age can generally articulate reasons for their preferences and understand the practical consequences of different arrangements.

Ages 13+: A teenager's clearly expressed and reasoned views are very difficult for a court to override. While there's still no automatic right to choose, courts recognise that forcing a reluctant teenager into an arrangement they reject is often counterproductive and practically unenforceable.

How the Court Hears a Child's Views

Children don't sit in the witness box. Their views reach the court through one of three channels:

Family Report

The court orders a Child Impact Report (formerly called a Family Report) prepared by a Court Child Expert — a psychologist or social worker who interviews the child, both parents, and sometimes other significant people. The report includes the child's expressed views alongside the expert's assessment of their maturity, any signs of coaching, and the developmental implications of different arrangements.

Independent Children's Lawyer (ICL)

In complex or high-conflict cases, the court may appoint an ICL to represent the child's best interests (not necessarily their stated preferences). The ICL meets with the child, gathers information, and presents an independent position to the court.

Judicial Interview

In rare cases, a judge may speak with the child directly — typically older teenagers in chambers, without parents present. This is uncommon and judges are cautious about placing children in the position of appearing to "decide" between parents.

The Coaching Problem

Courts are acutely aware that children's expressed views can be influenced by the parent they spend the most time with. A child who says "I want to live with Mum" may be expressing a genuine preference, repeating what they've heard, or saying what they think will please the parent they feel most aligned with.

Family report writers are trained to identify signs of coaching or alignment, and courts discount views that appear to lack independent reasoning. A child who can articulate specific, practical reasons ("I want to stay at my school," "Dad's house is closer to my friends") is more persuasive than one who offers general emotional statements that mirror a parent's language.

What Happens When a Teenager Refuses

Even with court orders in place, enforcing parenting time against a determined teenager is practically difficult. If a 15-year-old refuses to get in the car for changeover, the court has limited enforcement tools — and most judges recognise that forcing compliance damages the relationship further.

This practical reality means that by the mid-teenage years, the child's cooperation effectively becomes a requirement for any arrangement to work. Parents litigating over a teenager's time should consider whether the court process will achieve anything a direct conversation with the child wouldn't.

The Northern Territory Child Custody & Parenting Plan Guide covers how children's views fit into the complete Section 60CC framework, age-appropriate parenting schedule models, and how to address the views question in your parenting plan or consent orders.

See more Northern Territory guides →