Can a Child Choose Which Parent to Live With in BC?
Can a Child Choose Which Parent to Live With in BC?
Parents often hear that children can "choose" which parent to live with once they reach a certain age — 12, 14, or 16, depending on who's offering the advice. In British Columbia, none of these numbers are in the law. There is no statutory age at which a child gains the legal right to decide their living arrangement.
What the law does require is that a child's views be considered as part of the best interests analysis — but "considered" is very different from "decisive."
What the Law Actually Says
Section 37 of BC's Family Law Act lists the child's views as one of several factors courts must evaluate when making parenting decisions. The specific provision requires the court to consider the child's views "unless it would be inappropriate to consider them."
This means the court will listen to what the child wants, but will weigh those views against the child's age, maturity, the reasons behind their preference, and whether outside influences (like parental coaching) may be shaping their opinion.
A 7-year-old who wants to live with the parent who lets them skip homework gets less weight than a 15-year-old who articulates a clear preference based on school proximity, social connections, and a genuine relationship with one parent.
How Courts Hear a Child's Views
Children don't typically testify in BC family court. Instead, their views reach the judge through several mechanisms:
Voice of the Child reports — A trained professional (usually a social worker, counsellor, or psychologist) interviews the child privately and prepares a written report summarizing the child's wishes, concerns, and emotional state. The report is filed with the court. These are less comprehensive than a full Section 211 custody assessment but faster and less expensive.
Section 211 reports — A more thorough assessment where a court-appointed evaluator interviews both parents, the child, teachers, doctors, and other relevant people. The evaluator observes parent-child interactions and produces a detailed report with recommendations. Section 211 reports carry significant weight with judges because of their depth.
Judicial interviews — In rare cases, a judge may speak directly with the child, though this is uncommon in BC and typically reserved for older, more mature children.
Affidavit evidence — Parents sometimes include statements about what the child has told them, but courts treat this with caution due to the obvious potential for bias.
The Maturity Factor
BC courts use a sliding scale: the older and more mature the child, the more weight their views carry. There's no bright-line rule, but general patterns emerge from case law:
- Ages 5-9: Views are noted but rarely determinative. Children at this age are highly susceptible to influence from whichever parent they've been with most recently.
- Ages 10-13: Views carry moderate weight, particularly when the child can articulate specific, practical reasons for their preference.
- Ages 14-17: Views carry substantial weight. Courts recognize that forcing an unwilling teenager into a living arrangement they've clearly rejected is often impractical and counterproductive. Some BC decisions have noted that an older child's parenting time is effectively "subject to their discretion."
At every age, the court distinguishes between an informed, genuine preference and one that reflects coaching, bribery, or a desire to escape reasonable parental boundaries.
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When a Child's Preference Backfires
A child's stated preference can actually work against the parent they're "choosing" if the court finds evidence of:
- Parental alienation — If one parent has actively undermined the child's relationship with the other parent, the child's preference to avoid that parent may be treated as a symptom of the problem rather than a genuine wish.
- Permissive parenting — If the child prefers the parent with fewer rules, later bedtimes, and unlimited screen time, the court may view the preference as reflecting the child's short-term desires rather than their best interests.
- Conforming behaviour — Older children sometimes align with the parent they perceive as more powerful or emotionally fragile, telling each parent what they think that parent wants to hear.
What This Means for Your Parenting Plan
If your child has expressed a strong preference about their living arrangement, that preference matters — but it's one factor among many. Building a parenting plan that reflects the child's developmental needs, maintains stability, and preserves both parental relationships gives you the strongest foundation regardless of what a court decides about the child's stated wishes.
The British Columbia Child Custody & Parenting Plan Guide includes worksheets for documenting the child's needs, developmental stage, and daily routine — the contextual factors that give the child's voice its proper weight in any negotiation or court proceeding.
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Download the British Columbia — Parenting Plan Starter Checklist — a printable guide with checklists, scripts, and action plans you can start using today.