NZ Separation Checklist: What to Do First When Separating

The First 48 Hours Matter More Than You Think

Separation rarely starts with a neat conversation and a plan. It usually starts with a decision — sometimes mutual, sometimes not — and a scramble to figure out what happens next. The first few days set the financial and legal foundation for everything that follows, and the mistakes people make in this window are often the most expensive to fix later.

Here is what to do, in order.

Establish and Document the Separation Date

The separation date anchors the entire Property (Relationships) Act process. It helps establish which assets are relationship property, sets the baseline for KiwiSaver calculations, and starts the two-year clock for dissolution. Document it in writing — a text message or email to your partner stating "as of [date], we are separated" creates a contemporaneous record. If you are living apart under one roof, the date is when you began leading genuinely separate lives (separate bedrooms, separate finances, no shared domestic routines).

If the date is later disputed, a statutory declaration and other contemporaneous records can help establish what happened.

Secure Your Financial Access

Notify your bank of the separation and ask what controls it can place on joint accounts to prevent unilateral withdrawals or credit-card spending. Open a sole-name account at any bank and redirect your salary or wages to it. Cancel any credit cards where your partner is an authorised user on your account.

Do not drain joint accounts. Funds held in joint bank accounts at the date of separation are relationship property and subject to equal division. Keep records of any withdrawals; emptying the account can create litigation risk.

Snapshot Every Balance

Record the balance of every financial account as of the separation date — joint accounts, individual savings, credit cards, personal loans, mortgage balance, KiwiSaver. Request KiwiSaver statements from both providers showing the balance at the start of the relationship and the separation date. These numbers form the foundation for the property division calculations.

Take screenshots of online banking balances. Download statements. Save everything to a secure location your partner cannot access.

Secure Personal Documents

Gather your passport, birth certificate, driver's licence, IRD number documentation, employment contracts, tax returns, insurance policies, and will. If originals are in a shared safe or filing cabinet, photograph everything you cannot take immediately. Store copies digitally in a personal cloud account.

Understand Your Obligations

New Zealand does not require you to wait before starting the property division process — the standard formal dissolution of marriage or civil union requires two years of continuous separation. Since 17 October 2025, Section 39A of the Family Proceedings Act 1980 provides an immediate exception for a person who holds a final protection order against their spouse or civil union partner (or where both parties hold final protection orders against each other). You can negotiate a Section 21A property agreement immediately.

Both parties need to compile complete financial histories. Do not hide assets, destroy records, or refuse to provide financial information. Incomplete disclosure can have serious consequences if a settlement is later challenged on grounds of serious injustice.

Arrange Living Situations

If one partner is staying in the family home, discuss interim arrangements. The person who stays does not gain ownership — the house remains relationship property regardless of who lives there. If agreement is not possible, either party can apply to the Family Court for an occupation order.

Children's stability is a priority for the court. Their housing and stability needs receive significant weight under Section 28A when the court considers an occupation order.

Get Independent Legal Advice Early

You do not need a lawyer to separate. You do need independent legal advice before signing a Section 21A property agreement — under Section 21F of the PRA, each party must receive independent legal advice for the agreement to be valid. An initial one-hour consultation can cost about $600, while later work is often billed at $250–$600+ per hour, giving you a realistic picture of your entitlements and obligations before you start negotiating.

Community Law Centres offer free initial legal advice for people who qualify financially.

Build Your Financial Inventory

The most productive thing you can do in the first month is build a complete picture of what the couple owns and owes. Every asset, every liability, classified as relationship or separate property. This inventory is what your lawyer works from, and arriving with a completed one cuts the billable hours needed to draft your agreement.

The NZ Financial Split Navigator provides a structured Asset and Debt Inventory Worksheet, a KiwiSaver Split Calculator, and a Separation Date Record — the three tools that turn the first weeks of separation from reactive chaos into a documented, defensible financial position.

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