Right of First Refusal in Missouri Custody

What Right of First Refusal Means

Right of first refusal (ROFR) is a parenting plan provision that gives the other parent priority over a babysitter, relative, or other third-party caregiver when the scheduled parent can't be with the child during their parenting time. If you have ROFR in your plan and the other parent has to work late, travel overnight, or otherwise can't care for the child during their scheduled time, they must offer you the time before calling anyone else.

Missouri law doesn't require a right-of-first-refusal provision in every parenting plan, but courts view it favorably. It signals cooperative co-parenting and prioritizes the child's time with a parent over time with a babysitter.

When ROFR Typically Kicks In

Most ROFR provisions don't trigger for every brief absence. A well-drafted clause specifies a minimum duration — commonly four or more consecutive hours. If the scheduled parent will be away for less than the threshold, they handle childcare however they choose. If the absence exceeds the threshold, they must contact the other parent first.

The provision should also define the notification timeline. A typical structure requires the scheduled parent to offer the time at least 24 hours in advance when the absence is planned, with a shorter notice window (two to four hours) for unexpected situations.

What to Include in Your ROFR Provision

Vague ROFR language causes more disputes than it prevents. A functional provision addresses:

The time threshold. Four hours is common. Some plans set different thresholds for daytime and overnight absences — for example, ROFR applies to any absence over four hours during the day or any overnight absence at all.

How the offer is made. Specify the communication method — text message, co-parenting app, phone call — and whether a non-response within a set window (such as one hour) counts as a decline.

Response deadline. If the other parent doesn't respond within the specified window, the scheduled parent is free to arrange alternative care.

Transportation. Who handles pickup and drop-off when ROFR is exercised. If the other parent accepts the time, do they come to the child or does the scheduled parent deliver?

Exceptions. Some plans exempt short-term care by specific people — a grandparent who regularly watches the child, a stepparent in the household, or the child's older sibling. Without exceptions, a parent could technically trigger ROFR every time they run to the grocery store while a grandparent watches the child.

Why It Matters Strategically

ROFR serves two practical purposes. For the parent with less parenting time, it creates additional contact with the child that doesn't require filing a modification. For both parents, it reduces the amount of time the child spends with non-parental caregivers.

It also creates a record. If one parent consistently exercises ROFR because the other parent is frequently absent during their scheduled time, that pattern can support a future modification — showing that the scheduled parent isn't actually using their allotted parenting time.

Conversely, ROFR can become a surveillance tool if one parent uses it to monitor the other's schedule. Courts that see this pattern may modify or remove the provision.

Drafting a Practical Clause

The Missouri Child Custody & Parenting Plan Guide includes a ROFR template clause with the key provisions pre-drafted — time thresholds, notification method, response windows, and common exceptions — so you can customize it for your parenting plan on Form CAFC501 rather than drafting from scratch.

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