How to Prepare for Custody Mediation in Quebec

Your Five Free Hours Are Worth More Than You Think

Quebec gives separating parents with minor children five fully funded hours of family mediation for an initial separation, or two and a half hours if you're reviewing an existing agreement. The government covers the mediator's fees entirely for these hours, including preparation and drafting time.

After those hours are used up, additional sessions cost CA$130 per hour plus applicable taxes — and most families need more time. A couple that walks into their first mediation session without having done any preparation will burn through two of those free hours just getting the mediator up to speed on basic facts.

The difference between parents who prepare and those who don't is usually the difference between resolving everything within the free hours and needing three or four paid sessions on top.

What to Bring to Your First Session

Financial Records

The mediator will need both parents' financial pictures to address child support. Gather the following before your first session:

• Recent pay stubs or proof of self-employment income (last three months minimum)
• Federal and Quebec provincial tax returns for the past three years
• Notices of Assessment from the Canada Revenue Agency
• Records of other income: rental income, employment insurance, disability benefits, investment returns
• Monthly expense breakdown for the child: daycare, school supplies, extracurriculars, medical costs not covered by insurance

Having these ready saves the mediator from spending an entire session explaining what documents are needed and then waiting for you to gather them.

A Draft Parenting Schedule

Don't expect the mediator to design your schedule from scratch — that's your job. Come with a proposed weekly rotation, a holiday plan, and realistic transition logistics. The mediator's role is to help you and your co-parent negotiate the differences between your proposals, not to build a plan out of nothing.

Your draft should include:

• The regular weekly or bi-weekly rotation you're proposing
• Which holidays each parent would have in year one, and the alternation pattern
• Where exchanges will happen and who handles transportation
• How you'll handle summer vacation blocks

Even a rough proposal gives the mediator something concrete to work with. "I was thinking alternating weeks with exchanges at school on Fridays" is infinitely more productive than "I just want what's fair."

A List of Sticking Points

Think honestly about where you and your co-parent disagree and rank the issues by importance. Common friction points include:

• Which school the child will attend (especially if parents live in different catchment areas)
• Whether shared custody is realistic given your work schedules and geographic distance
• How to handle communication between the child and the non-resident parent
• Holiday distribution, particularly Christmas and summer
• Extracurricular activities that conflict with the other parent's scheduled time

The mediator can't resolve every issue in one session. Having a prioritized list means you address the most contentious items first while your energy and goodwill are highest.

What Happens During Mediation

A government-accredited mediator (who may be a lawyer, notary, psychologist, or social worker) facilitates the sessions. They don't take sides, make decisions, or give legal advice to either parent individually. Their job is to help you reach an agreement that both parents can live with and that serves the child's best interests.

Sessions typically run 60 to 90 minutes. The mediator will:

1. Establish ground rules for respectful communication
2. Identify the issues that need resolution
3. Explore each parent's concerns and interests (not just their stated positions)
4. Help generate options and trade-offs
5. Document any agreements reached

If you resolve all issues, the mediator drafts a summary of mediated agreements (résumé des ententes) that can be filed with the court to be homologated into a binding order.

If mediation ends without full agreement, the mediator provides a report confirming the process was attempted. You'll need this document if the case proceeds to court.

How to Use Your Sessions Effectively

Don't relitigate the marriage. Your five hours are for building a parenting plan, not processing the emotional fallout of the breakup. Save that work for a therapist — it's important, but it belongs in a different room.

Focus on the child's needs, not winning. Courts and mediators respond to child-centered proposals. "Our daughter needs to stay in her current school" is more productive than "I deserve more time because I was the better parent."

Be ready to trade. Mediation works through compromises. If summer vacation distribution matters more to you than Christmas, say so. If you're willing to take the Wednesday overnight in exchange for a longer summer block, propose it. Rigid positions exhaust your hours without producing agreements.

Take notes between sessions. After each session, write down what was agreed, what remains open, and what information you need to gather. Showing up to session three having forgotten what was decided in session two wastes everyone's time.

When Mediation Isn't Appropriate

Mediation is voluntary and explicitly waived in cases involving domestic violence. If you're a victim of spousal or family violence, you can obtain a certificate from a recognized domestic violence assistance service that exempts you from the mandatory parenting information session and from mediation. You should not be negotiating directly with someone who has used violence against you.

Even outside domestic violence, mediation may not work when there's a severe power imbalance, active substance abuse, or one parent who refuses to engage in good faith. In these situations, the contested court track exists for a reason.

Arriving Prepared Pays for Itself

Every hour you spend preparing outside of mediation is an hour you don't spend paying CA$130 for the mediator to help you organize your thoughts. The Quebec Child Custody & Parenting Plan Guide functions as a pre-mediation workbook, walking you through schedule proposals, financial calculations, and decision-making frameworks so your mediation sessions focus on negotiation, not education.

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