How to Prepare a Parenting Plan for New Hampshire Mediation Without a Lawyer
If you're heading into New Hampshire's mandatory court-connected mediation without an attorney, the most important thing you can do is arrive with a written, specific parenting plan proposal — not vague preferences. Mediators are neutral facilitators who cannot draft terms for you or tell you what to propose. Parents who walk in with organized schedules, overnight counts, and documented rationale reach agreement faster and get stronger outcomes than those who show up hoping the mediator will sort things out.
Here's exactly how to prepare.
Understand the Mediation Format
New Hampshire requires court-connected mediation in all contested parenting cases under RSA 461-A:7. The session is up to four hours, costs a flat fee of $450 (typically split $225 per parent), and is scheduled after your First Appearance at the Family Division.
The mediator's role is to facilitate conversation and help both parents find common ground. They are ethically prohibited from giving legal advice, recommending outcomes, or taking sides. That means every proposal, every schedule option, every compromise has to come from you.
Step 1: Draft Your Proposed Parenting Schedule
Before mediation, work out at least two schedule options you'd accept. Each schedule should include:
- Weekly routine: Who has the child on which days, including pickup and dropoff times and locations
- Overnight count: Calculate the total annual overnights for each parent — this matters because New Hampshire's 2025 equal-time presumption sets the baseline at approximately 146 overnights per parent (40% of the year)
- Transition logistics: Where exchanges happen, who transports, and what happens when someone is late
Common schedule patterns that meet or approach the 146-overnight threshold:
- 2-2-5-5 rotation: Each parent gets two weeknights, then alternating long weekends (182.5 overnights each)
- 3-4-4-3 rotation: Three days with one parent, four with the other, then swap (182.5 overnights each)
- Alternating weeks: Week on, week off (182.5 overnights each)
- 5-2-2-5: Each parent has the same two weeknights, alternating weekends (182.5 overnights each)
If you're proposing less than 146 overnights for either parent, prepare a specific explanation — a judge would need to make written findings to depart from the equal-time presumption.
Step 2: Plan Holiday and Vacation Allocation
The parenting plan must address holidays, school vacations, and special occasions. Draft your proposal before mediation covering:
- Major holidays: Thanksgiving, Christmas/winter break, New Year's, Fourth of July, Memorial Day, Labor Day
- Parent-specific days: Mother's Day, Father's Day, each parent's birthday
- Child's birthday: Who has the child, or how to split the day
- School breaks: February vacation, April vacation, summer break
- Rotation pattern: Alternating years, splitting the holiday, or a fixed assignment
Write these out in a table format — visual clarity helps in mediation. Include specific dates and times, not just "Thanksgiving."
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Step 3: Prepare Your Financial Disclosure
Under Rule 1.25-A, both parents must exchange comprehensive financial disclosures within 45 days of service. Even if this deadline falls after mediation, having your financial picture organized helps you negotiate intelligently about child support implications.
Gather and organize:
- Last three years of tax returns
- Current pay stubs (last three months)
- Bank statements (all accounts)
- Retirement account statements
- Monthly expense breakdown
- Health insurance costs for the children
- Childcare expenses
Child support in New Hampshire is directly tied to custody allocation. Under the 2025 reforms, when both parents have approximately equal parenting time and similar incomes, there is a rebuttable presumption of zero child support. Understanding where your income and schedule place you in the support calculation gives you leverage to negotiate a schedule that works financially for both households.
Step 4: Address the Nine Mandatory Sections
New Hampshire Court Rule 2.18 requires every parenting plan to cover nine sections (A through I). Before mediation, draft your position on each:
- Section A: Legal decision-making (joint vs. sole) for education, healthcare, and religious upbringing
- Section B: Residential schedule (your proposed routine)
- Section C: Holidays and vacations
- Section D: Transportation and exchange arrangements
- Section E: Communication between the child and the non-residential parent
- Section F: Relocation provisions (the 60-day notice requirement under RSA 461-A:12)
- Section G: Dispute resolution method (mediation first, then court)
- Section H: Process for future modifications
- Section I: Any additional provisions specific to your family
Having a position on each section — even a flexible one — prevents you from being caught off guard during the session.
Step 5: Organize Your Documentation
Bring to mediation:
- Your written schedule proposals (at least two options)
- Holiday and vacation allocation plan
- Overnight count calculations for each proposal
- Financial disclosure documents (organized, not loose papers)
- A list of the 13 best-interest factors under RSA 461-A:6, with notes on how each applies to your family
- Any prior agreements or temporary orders already in place
- A one-page summary of your goals and priorities (for your own reference)
Common Mediation Mistakes to Avoid
Arriving without a written proposal. The mediator cannot create one for you. If only one parent has a detailed plan, that plan becomes the starting framework for negotiation.
Using prohibited terminology. New Hampshire replaced "custody" and "visitation" with "parental rights and responsibilities" and "residential responsibility." Using the old terms signals unfamiliarity with the law and can create friction.
Focusing on the other parent's failures. Mediation is forward-looking. The mediator wants to hear what schedule serves the child's best interests, not a catalog of grievances.
Ignoring the child support connection. Your proposed schedule directly affects child support calculations. Negotiate schedule and support together, not in isolation.
The New Hampshire Child Custody & Parenting Plan Guide includes mediation preparation checklists, all five schedule templates with overnight counts, and a section-by-section walkthrough of the nine mandatory parenting plan components — organized as a preparation workbook you can complete before your session.
Frequently Asked Questions
What happens if mediation fails in New Hampshire?
If you don't reach agreement, the case moves to a contested hearing before a judge or marital master. The mediator's notes are confidential and cannot be used in court. You'll have the opportunity to present evidence, call witnesses, and make arguments — but the cost and time commitment increase significantly.
Can I bring a lawyer to mediation?
Yes, but it's not required. Some parents hire an attorney for the mediation session only (a "limited scope" engagement), which typically costs a few hundred dollars rather than a full retainer. If you've prepared thoroughly with your own proposal and documentation, many parents handle mediation successfully without counsel.
How long does New Hampshire custody mediation take?
The court-connected mediation session is up to four hours. Many cases reach agreement within that time. If more time is needed, the mediator may schedule a follow-up session, or the parties can arrange private mediation (at their own expense, typically $100–$300 per hour).
What if my co-parent won't cooperate during mediation?
The mediator can call a caucus (separate meetings with each parent) to reduce tension. If genuine bad faith prevents any progress, the mediator will report an impasse to the court. The case then proceeds to a judicial hearing. If your co-parent later violates a court-approved parenting plan, the 2025 Family Access Motion under RSA 461-A:4-a provides an expedited enforcement pathway.
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