How to Make a Parenting Plan in Virginia

Why Virginia Courts Reject Vague Parenting Plans

Virginia Code § 20-124.4 requires parents in contested custody cases to submit a proposed parenting plan to the court. But even in uncontested cases, the plan needs to be detailed enough to actually work — and detailed enough that a judge will approve it.

Plans built on language like "reasonable visitation" or "as the parents agree" fail in practice. When co-parenting communication breaks down (and it usually does at some point), vague terms create disputes that end up back in court. Virginia judges expect structured, specific parenting plans that leave as little room for interpretation as possible.

The Core Components Every Virginia Parenting Plan Needs

Regular Weekly Schedule

Define exactly which days and nights the child spends with each parent during a normal school week. Include:

• Specific transition days and times (e.g., "Friday at 6:00 PM" not "Friday evening")
• Where exchanges happen (school pickup, a parent's home, a neutral location)
• Who provides transportation for each exchange
• What happens if a parent is late or a transition falls on a school holiday

Holiday and School Break Rotation

The holiday schedule overrides the regular weekly schedule. Virginia courts expect plans to address:

• Major holidays: Thanksgiving, Christmas/winter break, spring break, Independence Day, Labor Day, Memorial Day
• Parent-specific days: Mother's Day and Father's Day, included in the odd/even-year holiday rotation
• The child's birthday: alternating years, or split day
• Summer vacation: extended blocks or a modified version of the regular schedule
• Three-day weekends: who gets the extra day

Most plans alternate major holidays between odd and even years. Be precise about start and end times — "Christmas" means different things to different people, but "December 24 at 5:00 PM through December 26 at 10:00 AM" doesn't.

Communication Protocols

Spell out how parents will communicate about the child:

• Method: co-parenting app (like OurFamilyWizard or Talking Parents), email, or text
• Response window: how quickly each parent should respond to non-emergency messages (24–48 hours is standard)
• Child-to-parent communication: the child's right to contact the other parent by phone or video during parenting time
• Emergency contact: immediate notification by phone for medical emergencies, school incidents, or safety issues

Decision-Making Process

If you have joint legal custody, define how major decisions get made:

• Who proposes the decision
• How much time the other parent has to respond
• What constitutes agreement (written confirmation via the co-parenting app)
• What happens when you disagree: mediation first, then a parenting coordinator, then court as a last resort

Right of First Refusal

This clause says that if a parent can't care for the child during their scheduled time for a set number of hours (commonly 4–8 hours), they must offer the other parent the chance to step in before arranging third-party childcare. It reduces babysitter use and gives the other parent additional time with the child.

Dispute Resolution

Virginia courts favor plans that include a stepped dispute-resolution process: attempt to resolve disagreements through direct communication first, escalate to mediation if that fails, and file a court motion only as a last resort. Including this clause signals to the judge that you're committed to keeping conflicts out of the courtroom.

Practical Details That Prevent Future Conflicts

Beyond the required components, experienced family law practitioners in Virginia recommend addressing:

• Extracurricular activities: Who decides which activities the child participates in? How are costs split? Can one parent sign the child up for activities that overlap with the other parent's time?
• Travel and passports: Written consent requirements for out-of-state or international travel. Both parents' names on the passport.
• Social media: Whether parents can post photos of the child, and whether the child's image or identifying information can appear online.
• New partners: How introductions to new significant others are handled (many plans include a waiting period before overnight introductions).
• School and medical information: Both parents listed as emergency contacts. Both parents with access to school portals and medical records.

The 90-Overnight Threshold

One detail that shapes many parenting plans in Virginia: the child support guidelines under Virginia Code § 20-108.2 use different formulas depending on whether the non-primary parent has the child for 89 or fewer overnights (sole custody formula) versus 90 or more overnights (shared custody formula with a 1.4x multiplier).

This means the specific schedule you design directly affects the child support calculation. Counting overnights carefully — including half-days and holiday blocks — matters more than most parents realize when drafting the plan.

Building a Plan That Works

A parenting plan isn't a legal formality — it's the operating manual for your child's life across two households. The more specific it is, the less room there is for misunderstanding and the less time you'll spend back in court.

The Virginia Child Custody & Parenting Plan Guide includes a Parenting Plan Builder Worksheet and a Holiday Rotation Planner designed specifically for Virginia's requirements, so you can draft a detailed plan before your first mediation session or court appearance.

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