FDR Mediation NZ: How Family Dispute Resolution Works

Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) is New Zealand's mandatory mediation step before you can take a parenting dispute to the Family Court. If you and your co-parent can't agree on care arrangements for your children, the law says you have to try mediation first — and you need the paperwork to prove it.

The system exists because defended Family Court hearings cost $10,000–$30,000+ per parent and take 6–12 months. FDR resolves most cases in one to three sessions at a fraction of that cost.

What FDR Actually Is

FDR is a structured mediation process led by an independent, accredited Family Dispute Resolution mediator. The mediator doesn't take sides, doesn't give legal advice, and doesn't decide who's right. Their job is to help both parents identify the issues, discuss options for care schedules, and work toward a written parenting agreement.

FDR is specifically for parenting disputes — who the children live with, how contact works, how major decisions are made. It doesn't cover relationship property division (that's a separate process under the Property (Relationships) Act 1976).

How Much Does FDR Cost?

FDR costs depend on your income:

• Fully funded — if both parents have low incomes, the government covers the entire cost
• Partially funded — each parent pays a user contribution of $448.50 (including GST)
• Privately arranged — if you choose your own mediator outside the government scheme, expect $3,000+ for the full process

The government-funded option is administered through approved FDR providers. Your mediator will assess eligibility at intake.

Compare that to a family lawyer at $300–$500 per hour. Even at the $448.50 user contribution, FDR is dramatically cheaper than the alternative.

The FDR Process Step by Step

1. Contact an FDR provider. You can self-refer or be referred by a lawyer, the Family Court, or the Ministry of Justice. The provider assigns an accredited mediator.

2. Individual intake sessions. The mediator meets with each parent separately to understand their position, assess any safety concerns (especially family violence), and explain the process.

3. Joint mediation sessions. Both parents attend one to three sessions with the mediator. Sessions typically last two to three hours. Some providers offer shuttle mediation (parents in separate rooms) if direct communication is too difficult.

4. Agreement or outcome form. If you reach an agreement, the mediator helps you document it as a written parenting plan. If mediation fails or one parent refuses to participate, the mediator issues an FDR Outcome Form — this is your ticket to filing a court application.

How to Prepare for FDR

Walking into mediation without preparation is the single biggest mistake separating parents make. The mediator can't advise you, so if you haven't thought through the practicalities, you'll either agree to something that doesn't work or leave without an agreement at all.

Before your first session:

• Draft a proposed parenting schedule with specific days and overnight counts — not vague preferences like "I want shared care"
• Know your child support numbers — your overnight count directly determines your IRD child support calculation. The 28% threshold (103 nights) and 35% threshold (128 nights) create significant financial shifts
• List the guardianship decisions you anticipate needing to make jointly — schooling, medical, travel, extracurricular activities
• Prepare for holidays — have a rotation plan for school holidays, Christmas, Easter, and birthdays
• Think about communication — how will you and your co-parent discuss child-related issues? A co-parenting app, email-only, or text?

The parents who leave FDR with workable agreements are the ones who arrived with a concrete proposal, not the ones who waited for the mediator to suggest solutions.

What Happens If FDR Fails?

If you can't reach an agreement, the mediator issues an FDR Outcome Form confirming that mediation was attempted. This form is valid for 12 months and is a mandatory document when filing a parenting order application in the Family Court.

FDR failing doesn't mean you've lost. It means the dispute moves to the court track — but having gone through the mediation process, you'll have a clearer picture of what the other parent's position is and where the real sticking points lie.

When You Can Skip FDR Entirely

You can apply directly to the Family Court without FDR if:

• There's an immediate safety risk to the child requiring an urgent without-notice order
• Both parents agree (consent application)
• There are active Oranga Tamariki child protection proceedings
• You can demonstrate family violence via sworn affidavit

Next Steps

FDR is most effective when both parents walk in with structured, realistic proposals. The New Zealand Child Custody & Parenting Plan Guide includes mediation preparation worksheets, pre-filled schedule templates, and care-threshold calculators so you arrive at FDR with a proposal that's both child-focused and financially sound.

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